One of the (many) awesome things about being a complete bastard is that you don't have to do the things people want you to do. Things like, say, update you website on a regular basis. If a person comes up to you and says something along the lines of, "Post some new content" or "Please stop drinking my mezcal straight from the bottle" you just yell, "Fuck you! Get your own blog and/or mezcal!" and then happily go on about you business.

But with the mezcal all gone, perhaps I can find enough time to mollify the poor miscreants who return here, day after day, week after week, hoping to find some small morsel of boozing wisdom. Well, miscreants, here is your morsel.

The Bastard has lately been pondering the lack of clear, colorless drinks. That quintessentially clear cocktail, the Martini, has been used by ad men and neon-lit bars for years to signify the whole of the booze consuming world, despite little visual similarity to most of the world's consumed cocktails. This is not surprising. The stark purity of the vermouth-tinged gin, the olive, and the art deco stemware is an aesthetic achievement not easily matched by oakier ingredients. Perhaps, though, it can at least be replicated. I've had a leaning toward all-spirit cocktails of late, so now is a fine time to try.

Supposing a juniperless spirit, the starting point is (ahem) clear: unaged tequila. Unlike their grain-based counterparts, I think agave distillates are usually at their best when left uncorrupted by a barrel. When I want oak, I drink whiskey. When I want agave (and the mezcal is depleted), I drink blanco. (I recently received a sample bottle of Casa Noble and am extremely fond of it, so thats what I'll be using today.)

Conveniently, there is another ingredient I have wanted to pair with tequila for some time that happens to be just as transparent: Dolin Blanc. Dolin Blanc strikes me as one of the most mysterious cocktail ingredients to come along in some time. Why? Vermouth is white wine aromatized with various herbs, but nomenclature aside, I have never seen a truly white wine, nor have I seen any colorless herbs; yet this vermouth is absolutely clear. I can only assume heavy filtering is part of the production, but the flavor remains rich and luscious. Pure bottled enigma, I'm telling you.

These two ingredients will do most of the work in this cocktail, but we can round the flavors out nicely with a few citrus notes. Observe:

The Small Stakes Cocktail

Stir and serve up with a twist.